On Friday June 5th the night before Laura was supposed to come back from Canada I received an e-mail from her wherein she announced that she would not be coming back from Toronto with our baby and had started 'separation' proceedings. For separation proceedings read divorce, equalisation of property, by which means, she wants half of the assets that I have accumulated from hard work before we met while I get half of the ZERO she has accumulated in a lifetime of excuses, and all sorts of other monies she somehow feels she is entitled to. There was no warning, no conversation, no explanation, no "I'm sorry but this isn't working." Just an e-mail stating she had started 'separation proceedings', she couldn't even be honest about that. At the same time as I was shopping buying treats and things for her and our baby, she was in court with a thick carpet of lies that she had woven from a very thin thread of truth. The last words she said to me before I received her missive was 'Love you too, miss you'. I never credited her with the capacity for deceit, treachery, mendacity, venality and spite that she has displayed with such sly artfulness.
Our home life had actually been very good over the last year. I shall probably never know what dark mental dances she had in April and May as she schemed the assassination of our marriage. It's sad. I loved her with all my heart and truly wanted her eyes to be the last I saw before I closed mine for the final time.
In the book of my own life I turned the page honestly believing we would both live happily ever and found the rest of the leaves torn away by the person to whom I had entrusted it.
In the last two days, I have spoken to two old friends. One has been dieing for years but is too stubborn to give in. To hear his voice, is to hear the fragility of his heart and I fear that every beat will be its last. The other has always seemed as strong as an ox, but has been given two years to live by his doctors.
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."
John Donne - Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, no. 17 (Meditation) 1624
About Me
- Jase
- Intelligent, witty, cultured and loyal. I am not interested in football. I have a subsurface spiritual layer and am passionate and caring. I speak Spanish, but with a Spanish accent. Naked I look like a frog. I am massively fun to be with and you are lucky to be reading this somewhat biased self review. The bit about the frog is untrue
4 comments:
Jason,
I have just read this and feel so sorry for you, I remember so well the feelings I felt when my wife told me she wanted to seperate, totally out of the blue like yourself.
The only advice I can give is to try and keep your relationship with Laura as civil as possible that way your daughter doesn't get caught up in any disputes and name calling and will grow up with two loving parents that she can happily talk to in front of the other one.
It is now nearly seven years since I seperated and my daughter can talk to both of us quite happily, after the initial hurt we remained good friends and my daughter has definately benefitted from this, something quite a few of her friends envy as they become messengers between their parents.
I hope it all works out well as I know you have the added problem of being seperated by distance but remember that your daughter is the most important thing in this and if that means biting your tongue sometimes for her sake then so be it.
Good Luck and things do get better with time
Tom
We met only once at Olga's house in Costa Rica a few years ago, and I've always visited your blog from time to time since then.
I'm in complete shock to read this last post you wrote, and all I can tell you is that I really hope there is someway for you to keep in close contact with your lovely daughter.
Te apoyo a la distancia.
Oh Jase....I haven't been in blogland forevere and thought I would check in on folks...and of course was really sad to red this. How are things now? Have you seen your little girl since the summer? Hope you are well.
Cathy
Thanks for the thoughts guys. It can't be nice I'm afraid, because that is not how Laura and her mother want it to be.
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