Saturday, December 25, 2010







Santa has just left the house. Or so it would seem. On a plate on the floor under the tree there are a few crumbs from a mince pie, the stump of a carrot and an empty glass. Evelyn's presents lie under the bejewelled plastic fern that holds so much magic, hope and promise to children and children at heart. Evelyn and I went carol singing tonight, I sang, she danced

I received a series of cryptic text messages from my estranged wife Laura on Wednesday, so I called and she told me that she had given up the legal battle to leave the UK with our daughter. A fax arrived at my solicitor's office as it was closing for the night. My solicitors, solicitor's clerks, barristers, attorneys at law and Queen's Counsel, for there are many and on both sides of the Atlantic, were all left dumbfounded, as was I. At Laura's request, I went over and we had a chat with Evelyn and tried to explain what was going to happen, I'm not sure what she understood. Laura had told her what was occurring previously, but when I was there, she was capering about the apartment on all fours, yelping and pretending to be a puppy. Laura was tearful and without the malice and bile I have become used to over the last eighteen months. Laura had already left for the airport when I picked up Evelyn the following morning from Laura's mother, who has been here since August and I became a single parent.

Evelyn was ordered to be returned to the UK in July at the orders of the Canadian courts and Laura came with her, the final hearing for leave to remove was to be in January. My legal counsel were passionate about our case for refusal and felt that we were in with a fighting chance of success despite the UK's traditionally outrageous bias towards maternal preferences over domicile.

There are a few legal loose ends to be tied up over agreed contact and holidays, but these are just routine. We will all then have to settle in to the new phases in our lives.

When I was in Canada in May 2009 on vacation with my wife and daughter and staying at the in-laws, plans were already underway to present me with the surprise divorce petition which has now been struck out. A few weeks later I discovered by e-mail that I was separated and five days later, discovered that the woman I loved had asked through the courts for a divorce, full custody of our daughter, approximately two thirds of my net income and a freeze on the bank account which had my the final deposit for an apartment I had bought off plan, effectively meaning that I would lose it. As if that wasn't enough I was told that Laura would rather see me in court than allow me the unaccompanied access to my child that I had had since her birth. I tried at the time to get them to see what they were doing, to try to do this the decent way, to allow some dignity and respect. They wanted my daughter, my money and my assets. I say they, as I don't believe that Laura was the sole architect of this, responsibility must also be borne by her mother, who seeks and sought to control everything, and her lawyer who seemed to have obtained her qualifications from watching daytime TV. It was the wrong thing to do, it would have been a wrong thing to do if I had not prevailed in the courts. Somehow they don't seem to understand that the responsibility for what has passed is their own. Laura could have done this so differently, I did the only thing I could.

I often wondered how Laura thought she was going to explain what she had done to Evelyn when she is old enough to ask questions.

And now we are here and my daughter is living with me permanently. I have missed out on a year of watching her grow up, with what contact I had spoilt by my estranged wife's mother, lost perhaps £150,000 in cash and assets and who knows how many years of my life. Laura has no doubt suffered too. My daughter has been denied the loving home with a mummy and daddy that she deserved and lost a year's worth of real contact with her father. I must do my best to be the best father I can be and make up for the distance of my daughter's mother. I must ensure that the contact she has with her mother and her mother's family is better than I was given and see what I can do to heal the wounds that have lain open too long. I want Evelyn to grow up happy and I'll do whatever it takes.

Thus ends one chapter in all of our lives and hopefully the next will bring peace, civility and respect to everyone. I hope Laura and her family find serenity and I'll do what I can to help them share in the joy of Evelyn's life.

Merry Christmas one and all!




3 comments:

Karyn said...

Very good news indeed!

Much love to you both,
Karyn

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you Jason, I have a tear in my eye.

At least you seem to be doing the right thing and allowing her contact with her Mother. A child should always have contact with both parents.

I hope everything goes well from now on and you can put the nightmare of the last 18 months behind you.

Happy New Year to both of you

Tommy Cooper

Anonymous said...

Oh Jase...I came to wish you a Merry Christmas...I am so sorry to hear about everything you have been through. I wish you a wonderful 2011 with your dear little girl.
Warmest,
Cathy