Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Toronto
The first surprise on arrival to Canada is that none of the ATMs at the airport take VISA so if you don't carry Mastercard, AMEX or some completely obscure Canadian card you are completely stuffed and won't be able to get one of the Lincoln Town Cars that they use for taxis outside the airport.

On queuing for a taxi you will realise that all taxi drivers are from the Indian sub-continent and on taking a cab you will realise that none of them have a clue where you are going despite repeating your destination address for 7 minutes. Ontario has recently decided to oppose using Sharia law to resolve domestic disputes. Which is is good as I've heard that recently, Saudi Arabia has refused to allow democracy, trial by jury or human rights to affect their way of doing things, so it keeps the world culturally balanced. At least I should be able to get a decent curry somewhere near.

If my experience is anything to go by, Toronto is basically a car park sprinkled with uniform concrete, cubiform buildings that have been labeled so as to inform the visitor whether they are entering an IKEA, Furniture Warehouse or their hotel.

Toronto has places which are called bars, while you are in one, someone who is apparently nice, will ask you if you want a drink. If you say yes, they'll turn around and make you an insipid cocktail from government stipulated thimbles (much like the UK in this respect), then charge you the same price as a 3 bedroom apartment in a less fashionable area of Paris. Yesterday a packet of cigarettes cost me $12 Canadian, the beer to go with it was $6.50. In Spain you can be jailed for charging prices like that. I am still working it out, but I think it must be a tax on sin to keep Canadians pure, I believe a packet of condoms here costs the same as a Ford Mustang.

5 comments:

Joe said...

Yeah, forgot to mention about the ATMs. Although the taxis all accept credit cards.

You sound a bit like Rush Limbaugh at times here, please stop.

Love that pic of the Bushes, is that yours?

Joe said...

Oh one more thing. There is a part of town where all the Koreans live, with tonnes of Korean restaurants, called imaginatively, little Seoul or something like that. Good food there.

Jase said...

Sorry I'll try to keep the Rush Limbaugh bit under control.

Cathy said...

hitting "next blog" and came across yours. you got the taxi thing right on. there are great places to eat in TO, give yourself more than a day to find them...
Cathy

Anonymous said...

Please be leaving a very nice tip for your kind driver, sir