Not another baby post!
Although I have always wanted children, I have not actually made any. Not that I haven't practiced making babies, which I like very much, I just haven't actually made babies.
Most non-parents find the constant wittering of new parents about about how clever, active, fun, good looking, blah blah blah their new cabbage patch baby is, to be as much fun as bathing in warm vomit. Having to look at the photos equally tedious. Most of these photos are snaps, in that they serve as an aide memoire to someone present when they were shot. They are not art! If you are a bit of a photographer, which I am, you either have to shut down your visual cortex and grunt approving noises or you actually have to look at them. If you look at them you will get bummed about how the table is in focus but the kid isn't; how half it's head is out of frame or has a plant growing out of it and any number of other issues. You can't mention the errors in photography in case the parents think you find photography more interesting than their baby. Basically, other peoples babies are not interesting unless you are feeling very broody, even if you are a girl, who have higher interest levels in such things. Sorry but for the rest of us, they all look the same and especially so if you are a guy.

However, this brings me to the point of this post.
Please let me introduce my new friend, Thomas James Maximus McSpirit whom I had the great pleasure to meet yesterday. He is the eleven week old son of my longest standing friend Dave, whom I have known since I was only one motorcycle old and his girlfriend Jenny. This makes him virtually my nephew and Dave introduced me to him as his uncle so that's cool. I now have uncle responsibilities. Which I think means that it will be my job to introduce Tom to vices and all the other stuff that Dave, is prohibited by Jenny from doing due to his dadness. We'll have a lot of important ground to cover, beer, girls, motorcycles, cigars etc. Maybe we can discuss the arts, cooking, philosophy and culture as well if we have time.

After his dinner, TJMax settled down for a nap in my arms. We had a bit of a chat as he drifted off to sleep and we already have a few things in common. We both like women. Tom is a boob man. Mostly he sees women as a source for food and comfort, so not much different from most men in that respect. When the time comes I'll teach him how to cook the fish he catches when us three men are out fishing. He was a bit tired after eating and a couple of burps finished him off. He slept happily for an hour or so, wriggling in his sleep every so often and then woke up ready for a bit more supper, so I handed him back to Jenny. It was nice spending an hour with the new little man.

Dave is very proud of having made Tom and hugely grateful to Jenny for all her help with the production. So much in fact that Dave says they are going to keep him and don't need to get a pet after all. Of course my moral support in the whole project is also worthy of note.


Dave and I went down the pub for a couple of beers to talk bloke stuff. We had a chat about the little fellow while I waited for my train. Anyway, I stand by what I said before, I saw this baby in a car the other day that could have been drawn by Gary Larson. They all look the same they all act the same, that's it. Except for Thomas my nephew, who is different, more interesting, better looking, smarter and all that other stuff that you lot not related to him would never understand!